dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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