ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
