we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i love accidental penises.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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