Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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