He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
