I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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