I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
