stop calling my apartment porn island.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
