Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
