He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
