we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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