i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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