He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
