I want to stick my p in your. b.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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