your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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