adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
