i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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