You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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