i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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