He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
