32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
