so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
