We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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