Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
