this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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