Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
