You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
