her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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