So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
