you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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