She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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