But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
