Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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