i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
