Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
