I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Green mimosas i think yes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
