she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
