I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
