clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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