Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
