They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think I won the penis lottery.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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