dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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