so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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