I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
