I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
