My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
