i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
