I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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