can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
