she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
