your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
