Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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