I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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