If that was your dad, he is hot
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
