Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
