Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
