Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
