I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
