What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
