Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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