My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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