We're facebook friends in real life
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
