I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize