i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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