if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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