the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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